I turned 40 this Saturday. It’s not something I’m ashamed of. People turn 40 all the time; I asked every single person I know who’s older than me and they all confirmed it. Apparently it’s just one of those things you really MUST do. Having tried it, I can honestly say that I give it my seal of approval. I rather enjoyed it. In fact I may just do it again next year. I know that officially I am middle aged now, but I don’t feel any different yet, though I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I start using phrases like “Sonny Jim” and “Hip Replacement Surgery”.
If you feel a burning desire to bring me a present, I will be at Mooki all week. Don’t feel embarrassed if you spent too much, I won’t judge you. On the topic of presents, we have decided that we are going to let our staff loose for a few days over Christmas. If you are planning on staying in Durban, then please remember that you were warned. Seriously. I’m warning you now, MY STAFF WILL BE LOOSE!!!!!! Myself and the darling wife have decided to flee town for a few days….did I say flee?….. what I meant to say was run screaming. We will be going very far away to an undisclosed destination. I can’t say where as one of our staff can read, and he will certainly alert the others. They’re used to running in packs. If you cherish your life, we suggest you get out of town from the 24th until the 27th. We will have the staff rounded up again and back at Mooki on the 28th.
Some of our staff will be leaving us earlyish in the New Year to go to Varsities and Colleges around the country. Presumably to learn to read and to get assimilated into civilised society. We are against this idea, but we have been paid a large sum of money by some men who came around in white coats. No we never SOLD our staff. Think of this agreement more as a long-term exchange program. They have gone, and in exchange we have money. See, nothing sinister there! We will, however, need to replace them. Tables don’t serve themselves, you know.
In the New Year we plan to start DELIVERING our special brand of happiness in the Glenwood area. We will be purchasing a scooter and coming right to your house with Yummy Goodness. If you live between Berea Road, Ridge Road, Queen Mary and Umbilo, then you are in our catchment area and really need to put us on your speed dial. Our “Friends With Benefits” cards are also now freely available to anyone spending R 100.00 or more on Take Away meals. Every time you buy for one hundred bucks or more, you will get a stamp on your card, and ten stamps gets you a voucher for R 100.00 to redeem immediately or hang onto for that middle-of-the -month Mooki fix.
One more thing! If you are stumped and can’t think what to get that special person for Christmas, pop on in and get them a Mooki voucher. It really is the gift that shows you care. If I got one , I would know that you loved me lots and lots.
The 13th of November heralded the four month mark for Mooki and we are totally stoked about it. In fact it’s so awesome that Tim Burton is making a movie about it. I can’t verify this, but it’s rumoured that they’re digitally recreating River Phoenix to play the role of me and Justin Bieber and Mylie Cyrus are doing a duet for the theme song (which is being adapted from one of the “lost recordings” of 2PAC) which is aptly named “That’s a frikken big meal for thirty five bucks” and has a chorus recorded by Michael Jackson when he was 15 years old.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to launch our Summer Menu. I am beginning to think that I may have jumped the gun there a bit………..
I don’t profess to know a heck of a lot about weather patterns or Climate Change (or even pocket change for that matter), but I know the beginning of an ice age when I see one! Far be it from me to create a panic or be an alarmist, but between you and me, I’m stocking up on Ugs and mittens. I’m also thinking of diversifying into floatation devices and snorkels. Don’t go out rounding up your neighbours’ pets and pairing them off just because we’re hinting at impending doom and the end of the world as we know it. Not yet. We’ll let you know when to start, honestly.
As ill timed as it may have been, the new menu is proving to be a great success, though. It’s substantially bigger and has more variety than the Jolie/Pitt household. We’ve included all the crowd pleasers from the specials boards over the first three months and the response has been extremely positive. There’s also a bunch of new specials on the board (which change weekly) so check out our specials page if you haven’t already. Another exciting development is that we are including the option of Brown rice with any of the fried rice dishes. This is not only tasty, but makes you poop more healthily (or so I am told) and also makes you an all-round happier person.
In other news, we are finally getting some T shirts and button badges done for you to buy for your nearest and dearest or just for yourself. We firmly believe that you’re worth it. As soon as we have finalised exactly what we have on offer, you Chinas will be the first to know. Right after us. Also, we have officially had 20 000 visitors to the blog in 4 months. We are now almost as popular as that guy who won Idols SA last year. You know who we mean….that guy…….so keep visiting the blog and we promise to keep adding cool, and weird stuff.
I am the Walrus. Much to the dismay of my adoring and ever supportive wife I am growing a Magnum P.I. style lip rug. This is not because I miss the 80’s (though to be truthful I do sometimes) or because it is the first of several steps needed to enter yourself into the World Annual Intercontinental Mullet Gliding Championships (held each year in Brakpan). Rather it is for a far more Noble cause. Next month is Movember. A month when men are encouraged to adorn their top lips with bushy outcrops in support of a very worthy cause.
Yes, each year literally hundreds of South African men defy their spouses and proudly declare to the world that they too have a gentler, more caring side and, dare I say it, a social conscience. Admittedly there are a greater number who just happen to want to look like their face is being molested by a rampant caterpillar, but we are not dealing with them here.
Movember was first introduced in December of 1994 in an effort to raise awareness and funds for the families of disenfranchised Traffic Cops. The political tides were turning and the future of a South African Icon was uncertain to say the least. Mustachio’d herds were often spotted wandering the car parks of the country, vacant expressions on their faces (a different sort of vacant to the norm) and a far-away gaze in their eyes. It was a desperate time.
Since then the movement has grown, and to date over three families have been helped thanks to money raised annually for this fine charity. I am truly proud to be a part of the solution, and I encourage all men out there to grow a conscience and do your bit for your country.
In other news, we have launched the new menu @ Mooki. The past three months have been like a large bucket of Super Awesome Deep Fried Goodness for us @ Mooki and the support from you guys nothing short of Brilliant, so we decided that it was time to upgrade the menu and forge into the festive season with Gusto and a more replete offering (yes, I did say Festive Season; if Checkers can start in July then we can start in October, dammit). Go check it out if you haven’t already. I’ll wait here for you.
As ever, be good….or good at it.
Yesterday marked Mooki’s two month anniversary. That’s just eight weeks, Chinas; eight short little weeks with so much happening. We have made so many new friends in that short little time frame that it hardly seems possible.
So let’s get on with the latest news! Kenko is back from Merry old England on Friday; apparently she was a little late for the end of season all-you-can-grab night sales, so alas she was unable to pick up the flat screen and Ipad I asked her to get for me. I may let her return to work anyway. Maybe.
Ono (our nom-nom and snacky snack chef) has left us (this one’s for real, folks) to pursue a career as a pastry chef at some hotel or another. According to her, Wontons and Spring rolls do NOT constitute pastries for some reason I can’t quite fathom. We wish her well…but not TOO well; she has deserted us after all. Just to be clear, we at Mooki do not harbour grudges. Nope, that’s not our style at all. We may occasionally haul them into a dry dock, give them a thick coat of lacquer and reserve them for redeployment at an appropriate future date of our choosing, though. It’s not really the same thing, so we feel good about it. We will miss you Ono. Or to be more accurate we will be watching you. We don’t like the word Stalking, so let’s just agree to disagree on that one.
Filling her Crocks will be our most Faithful and long serving staff member Bob (AKA Square pants, Bobtastic, Bobra Cadabra, Prometheus and Bob, Super Bob etc.), who has been with me since the very beginning. On day three of construction of Mooki, London (Judd’s faithful Car Guard) brought Bob over to help me as a general labourer while I built all the tables and the Bar and all the other bits and pieces that turn an empty shell into a restaurant. Five months later Bob has moved up the ladder through cleaner and prep chef to trainee chef. Well done Bob.
The other fantastic bit of news is the Tokyo Go Go exhibition happening on the 20th. We are so super amped for this it’s almost pornographic! (our excitement…… not the exhibition……although we probably wouldn’t say no to a bit of Spanky Spanky. I think I’m getting side tracked here.) This is going to be Uber awesome and we are inviting you Chinas to pop in and have a look. It begins at 6:30 and we will be serving the aforementioned Snacky Snacks and Nom Noms as well as our almost-famous Chocolate Chilli Sake shots for Mahala. This exhibition is so far up our alley that it’s postman walks right by us to get to it.
One last thing. I promise. Well, maybe two. Our new lunch menu is in full swing, so go check it out as soon as you finish reading this. We are delivering during the day in a two block radius, so give us a Tinkle. Also, we need you Chinas to start sending in your Haikus from your offices. The funniest submission will be rewarded with (you guessed it) Snacky snacks and Nom noms for your office.